This week God has put on my heart to encourages those in their mid-20’s and 30’s, who are single, to not give up or be discouraged. While you are single, it is important to remember that it does not make you incomplete as a person. It is not a label placed on you by others. It is not something to be ashamed of. Singleness means you are strong enough to stand on your own and be confident in who you are.
Singleness does NOT mean you are not pretty enough, smart enough, or skinny enough to date, be engaged, or married. Your worth comes from God. He gives you the courage to patiently wait for your godly man. I encourage you to marry someone who loves God more than he loves you. The wait will be worth it, no matter your age.
I am about 35 years of age and never been married. Most relationships I have left me heartbroken and worthless. I have been engaged twice and, before the wedding day, the relationship fell apart. I have been told by many that being a Christian does not mean you have to marry a Christian. Out of desperation, I have tried to date non-Christians and ended up not working out because of different beliefs. I struggle with commitment in relationships. I struggle with finding an authentic Christian guy who loves God more than me. I have dated Christian men who just follow what I do, and he never becomes the Christian leader that he needs to be.
I have always had an insecurity that I was not good enough or pretty enough to find a guy who will love me for who I am. I have been told while in engagement, “Why am I even marrying you?!” I have had guys tell me, “Why can’t you be who I want you to be” or “I’m not worth the wait”. Those words that were spoken over me hurt me deeply and have cursed any relationship that was good in my life.
There came a time when I realized those words have no meaning in my life. The only words I need to hear are from my heavenly Father. He knows my true identity. He knows who I will marry. And, one day, broken and alone, I put my trust in God and never looked back. My life is whole in Christ. I do not need a man to tell me how beautiful I am, or how smart I am to feel complete. God speaks those words over me every day. I am content being single until the right Christian guy comes my way!
While I was organizing my desk at home a few weeks ago, I found a poem that encouraged me, and would like to share it with you. It is called, “On His Plan For Your Mate”. If you need to find contentment today, find contentment with God. He knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11). I encourage you to walk in His promises and trust in God’s timing.
ON HIS PLAN FOR YOUR MATE
Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone.
To have a deep and soul relationship with another, to be loved
thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to the Christian – no,
not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved
by Me alone. I love you, My Child, and until you discover that
only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be
capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for
you. You can never be united with another until you are united
with me – exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any
other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop
wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan
existing – one that you cannot even imagine. I want you to have
the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you – just keep watching
Me, expecting the greatest thing – keep experiencing that
satisfaction of knowing of knowing that I am. Keep learning
and listening to the things I tell you…you must wait.
Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things
others have, or things that I have given them. Don’t look at the
things you think you want, just keep looking at Me, or you will
miss what I want to show you. And, then when you are ready,
I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anyone
could ever dream. I am working, even this very minute, to have
both you and the one I have for you, ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me, and the life
I have prepared for you will not be able to experience the love
that exemplifies your relationship with Me…
and this is perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love;
I want you to see in Me, in the flesh, a picture of your relationship
with Me. To enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting
union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with
Myself. Know that I love you utterly.
Believe and be satisfied.
I am God Almighty.
Below is a link to the poem, if you would like a printable version:
Poem for Single Christians