In the last three weeks, we have talked about being honest with ourselves and explaining the common areas that women struggle with on a day-to-day basis. We have also talked about self-rejection from our past as well as rejection from others. This week we are focusing on how to deal with rejection and use it to better ourselves rather than allow it to bring us down.
Studies show that rejection affects the physical pathways in our brain (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). Rejection is a deep rooted issue that people face every day, and it stirs up our emotions to make us think negative about ourselves or to something. It can be defined as not “just an emotional feeling, [but] a message that alters what you believe about yourself” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). Rejection has the power to change who we are as an individual. It can change the way think about a situation. It is a physical pain that reminds us of loss and feeling unwanted. “Rejection can make [us] question [God’s] goodness” in our lives (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst).
If we don’t want rejection to ruin our lives, we need to have a new perspective on how we handle rejection. In the Spiritual realm, we can think of it as a blessing. Lysa TerKeurst stated that “today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment” (Uninvited). We do not always understand why God says no to our prayers or requests when we want it so badly, but we do not want to miss God’s opportunities by always remembering the disappointments of our past. We never move past the disappointment if we always ask “why” questions rather than “what” questions. “‘What’ questions increase our ability to become more self-aware, while ‘why’ questions only focus on things out of control (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). When we ask “why” we see what we lack rather than what is ahead of us.
So…”What’s a brokenhearted person to do?” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). How do we overcome rejection? We “praise, seek, and look to God” for comfort. We “experience, learn from, and draw near to God” in every situation (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). Rejection does not label us, and it is not a permanent condition. It does not keep us from succeeding in our future; It just means we had a setback. “If we give [rejection] the power to define us, it will haunt us long-term. But if we only allow it enough power to refine us, the hurt will give way to healing” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). TerKeurst also states to “not let [rejection] destroy [us but to] use it in good ways to make [us] stronger” (Uninvited). We need to use it to empower us to become better. “Don’t let today’s reaction become tomorrow’s regret” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). What this statement is saying is do not allow your emotions to get in the way of wisdom.
Our past rejections do not have to define our future. It is our choice to change rejection for the good. Maybe God wanted you to take another path than the one you prayed about. Maybe God allowed you to experience a hurtful situation so you could understand compassion towards others. “The enemy loves to take our rejection and twist it into a raw, irrational fear that God really doesn’t have a good plan for us” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). Do not believe that lie, because “God is always at work” in our lives. “He is a present, loving Father, aware of our deepest hurts and even our deeper needs” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst).
Even if you don’t hear His voice, He is there!
Even though you don’t feel His touch, He is there!
Even if you lost your faith, He is there!
Yes, rejection hurts, but we can overcome it through Jesus Christ. We are all overcomers through Him. We do not have to live in defeat by our own insecurities. Rejection is only a temporary setback to make us stronger. Our past hurts and failures do not have to hinder our future. We get up, dust ourselves off, and walk towards Jesus. Jesus is our Healer and our Comforter. He is the One who guides us towards our future with confidence and self-worth.
I encourage all of us to remove the labels in our lives and let God redefine who we are through His promises and love. We live in victory when we live for Christ! Our success comes from Him. It does not come from our past. It does not come from the devil. It only comes from God.