Last week we talked about being honest with ourselves, and how we are created in God’s image. We broke down four common women’s insecurities, and I showed you all a few steps on how to be honest with yourself and with God. This week I will dive deeper into self-rejection, and how it can destroy your life.
Rejection is defined as “the act of not accepting, believing, or considering something” or “the state of being rejected” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rejection). Rejection can be described as an abandonment, a dismissal, or a brush off. Rejection comes in many forms. We can have such a low self-esteem that we put ourselves down due to our insecurities. Self-rejection will destroy us. It “paves the landing strip for the rejection of others to arrive and pull on up to the gates of our hearts” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). Our low self-esteem may prompt others to convey what we believe about ourselves. We are opening the flood gates for rejection by our own insecurities.
Another way we can allow rejection into our lives is to let the harsh words and actions of others dictate how we feel about ourselves. The lie becomes truth when we are already vulnerable to the negativity. The truth is, “rejection steals the best of who [we are] by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said about [us]” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). We are all guilty of being rejected as well as rejecting others. We have been a victim to rejection as well as giving out rejection. We are not innocent here, by no means. Jealousy and comparing ourselves to others allows room to judge people harshly. Insecurities bring out the worst in us when we try to better ourselves by putting others down. As women, we have to stop being so critical of each other and start lifting each other up with encouraging words.
The key problem is that we have a broken identity. We allow the world, others, and ourselves to tell us who we are rather than allow God to dictate who we are. “You can’t expect stability from a broken identity” (Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst). We have to get to the root of the problem to find stability in our lives. The core fears of rejection are abandonment and loss of identity. We must write down all our insecurities and work them out one-by-one with God. And, then and only then, we will see our identity as God sees us. We are all yearning for something that will keep us stable and anchored. The world’s view and what other’s say about us does not keep us anchored. Only God can keep us anchored because He “is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
Here are five simple steps to push past your insecurities and rejections to start living a life with less negativity and with more Godly thinking:
- Acknowledge the problem areas and weaknesses and write them down
- Pray over one problem area at a time
- Begin to write and say prayers daily that are the opposite of how you feel (positive prayers)
- Continue the prayers until you believe God’s truth about yourself
- Repeat the process for the next problem area
When we stop rejecting ourselves by our insecurities and what people say about us, we give the control back to God. We allow Him to work in our lives to change our mindsets from negative thoughts to positive thinking. When we say we are not smart enough or talented enough, we are putting down God’s creation. God created us in His perfection so let’s start living a life with confidence of who we are.
Is God good? YES!
Is God good to me? YES!
Do I trust God to be God? YES!
(Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst)
If you can answer these questions with a bold “YES“, then give God control over your emotions and your thoughts. I encourage you to allow Him to transform your life so you can be whole in Christ. I will say this again, “rejection will destroy your life.” Rejection will keep you in the past. Rejection will never let you move past the hurt and disappointments. A life filled with rejection promises no hope but only a mentality of “I will never be good enough to _________________________.” You fill in the blank of what area of your life you feel rejected. This is no way to live. A life without hope is not worth living. It is a life that will always bring you down and tell you you have no worth. Let God tell you who you are and stop listening to the negativity around you.