The Real Me

Today, I will talk about something that is personal and that I struggle with every day.  I struggle with forgiving my past to step into the future.  Before I can have new beginnings, I must be at peace with my past.  I realize I cannot run away from my past, because it will cripple me for life.  I cannot ignore it, because it will always come back to haunt me.

We must understand that our past shapes who we are today, but it does not define us.  We can either allow the experience to help us grow as an individual and with God or let it destroy our lives.  It is a process to forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes.

The last three months I tried to bury my hurt and shame by making changes in my life.  Some were good and healthy changes that I needed make to better myself.  Other changes hindered me from moving forward.  I am part of a new church since May, and I love how it feels like family.  The church has helped me to grow Spiritually and individually.  A few nights ago, I realized I have not allow myself to be vulnerable in the church and with my church family.  I put on a front that my life was perfect while inside of me was screaming for the truth to come out.  If I want to be a follower of Christ, I have to be transparent even when I’m struggling.

Casting Crowns has a new song called, “One Step Away.”  I heard it the first time on Facebook when a friend of mine posted a YouTube video on his page.  The song brought me to tears, and I cried for hours praying for God’s help.  The lyrics are below.  Please read each line slowly.  The meaning of this song is life-changing.

What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you…

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than…

One step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone (not alone)
You’re one step away
One step away

Lay down, lay down your old chains
Come now, and take up your new name
Your best life up ahead now
You’re one step away
[x3]

So come on home, come on home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone (you’re not alone)
You’re one step away

Lay down, lay down your old chains
Take up, take up your new name
[x2]

Lay down, lay down your old chains
Come now, take up your new name
Your best life up ahead now
One step away

Lay down, lay down your old chains
Come now, and take up your new name
Your best life up ahead now
You’re just one step away

REFLECTION:

We cannot relive yesterday, but we can live for today.  Our past mistakes do not hinder us from coming to God for forgiveness and mercy.  It is never too late to come to our heavenly Father!  Let me say that again: It is never too late to come to our heavenly Father!  Are you one step away from surrendering to God?  If so, embrace Him and “lay down the old chains.”  God will give you a new name and a new purpose for your life!

PRAYER:

God is asking you to “bring [Him] all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn’t have.  Fear and anxiety still plaque you.  Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn’t there.  Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth to fear of fear: a monstrous mutation.  Bring your anxieties out into the Light of [God’s] Presence, where [God and you] can deal with them together” (Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace In His Presence by Sarah Young).

I pray you put your trust in God and allow Him to work through your past and emotions together.  You are never alone when God is in your heart!

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